Hello there

We appreciate you sharing your concern with us here as it may help many others going through a similar issue. 

I understand the situation you are facing may be troublesome and distressing for you to go through due to the incongruence of how you feel and the way you find yourself responding to the people in the situations you encounter. 

Sometimes, we may not be able to cater to 'self-care' and give time to consider and address the unresolved issues and emotions within us which when left unaddressed may get accumulated and lead to heaviness and unconscious distress within us which we struggle with internally. When this accumulated emotional stress exceeds the threshold of our tolerance it may influence the way we behave in situations we encounter.

These inner conflicts may contribute to how we end up reacting which may not be in line with how we 'WANT' to react which then can further become another distress and accumulate added to the emotional distress already present. This spiral may continue like this becoming heavier and more complicated each time anything affects us. 

However, there are ways to cope and overcome this issue by addressing the unresolved struggles affecting us from within in a healthy manner so that they can be processed in a healthy manner.  You may seek the help of a professional to help you in the process of understanding the issues that may be affecting you emotionally and contributing to the undesired responses and with the right support and consistent efforts, you will be able to successfully manage your responses and reactions in a positive manner.

Hope that help :)

Be well