Hello there, 

Thank you for opening up on the topic with us here and sharing how you feel and putting forth the resulting situations and your personal thoughts and feelings about them. It can help and be an inspiration to others in a similar situation.

I can understand the sensitivity and significance of having gone through childhood abuse and the associated trauma and effects it may bring along with it in life which can be challenging to go through. I very much appreciate your courage to open up on the subject and share your experiences. 

The manifestations and effects of the abuse and particularly when experienced at a young and impressionable age can be difficult to go through and to make sense of at times. In this situation, you may seek the help of a professional who can understand and empathetically act as your support and help you in the journey towards healing. 

Further, I understand that the subject of 'gender identity that you talked about can be very personal and at the same time of great relevance to any individual as it relates to how we perceive our own selves and the consequent choices that we may make for ourselves in life. Exploring and experiencing situations in this regard may come as a new experience initially but in the long term, it can be helpful in acknowledging how you feel about yourself and identifying yourself with how you feel fits the best for you. This may further help bring more clarity along with a healthy acceptance of however way you feel most comfortable and which can benefit you the most. This eventually may help increase fulfillment and satisfaction in every sphere and experience of your life.

Hope that helps :)

My best wishes for your journey ahead

Be Well :)    

It is not uncommon for people to feel these negative effects after a sexual assault. It can take time for someone to process the experience and work through the emotions it brings up. This often means that they may not be able to engage in usual activities or socialize with others easily. Additionally, there can be physical manifestations of post-traumatic stress such as flashbacks or nightmares which can make life quite difficult.

Gender identity is a personal experience that varies from person to person. It is based on an individual's internal sense of self, not their sex assigned at birth. For some people, their gender identity may be different than the sex they were assigned at birth because they feel more comfortable or natural in the opposite gender role. There are no wrong or right answers when it comes to your gender identity; what matters most is how you feel inside and what feels best for you.

Genderfluid people may feel like they are both male and female, or neither male nor female. Gender identity is the gender that a person identifies with, regardless of their assigned sex at birth. There are two traditional genders: men and women. But some people don't feel comfortable fitting into these categories. This is known as "genderfluid" or "nonbinary." Genderfluid people may feel like they are both male and female, or neither male nor female. They can also identify as something else entirely (like transgender), which means their gender identity doesn't neatly fit into any one category.

For some, their cross-dressing behavior might be seen as a fetish or an identity disorder. If you experience a cross-dressing fetish or feel like you are not entirely male or female, then that is okay too. You do not have to fit into any specific gender role and can be whatever makes you happy! There are many different ways to experience gender, and everyone should be allowed to express themselves in whatever way feels right to them.

If you are feeling confused or uncomfortable about your gender identity, it is important to talk with a trusted individual, ideally someone who can understand without judging you and can listen and provide answers. This should help reduce some of your anxieties.