Relationship Jet Lag - From Being Together To Being Apart

What is relationship jetlag?

It could be 2 a.m. On your wristwatch, all you want to do is sleep, yet it might be sunny at 9 a.m when you step off an aircraft. Your body will still feel like it is 2 am even if you are in a new location and expected to act like it is 9 am. Although it could take some time, your body will adjust. This jet lag can also occur in romantic relationships. You and your partner can feel out of sync since you are in separate time zones. Although relationship jet lag usually impacts long-distance relationships, these time zone separations do not always have to be geographical; rather, it is about navigating through the periods of union and separation.

It concerns how couples shift from a period of being together to being apart. For example, if you live with your spouse, you will go through a transition when you return to them after a day at work, and you will go through another transition the next morning when you leave them to go to work. For many of us, these shifts may take place each day, and you may feel that this is insignificant because you go through it every day, but some relationships will go through changes that seem more significant because there could be a considerable amount of time between each transition. If you're in a long-distance relationship, it might feel like a big leap.

Unpreparedness for the upcoming change is one of the main reasons for this troubling transition. It is more difficult for you to steer your emotions in a favorable direction when you are anticipating a personally unappealing condition or event. Long-distance relationships make separation more difficult. In addition to geographic distance, the degree of your relationship satisfaction and how at ease you are in the surroundings without your partner also influence how "jet lag" feels. It will be more difficult to make the transition and it will produce more unpleasant emotions shortly after making the move if the upcoming state is less appealing to you in some manner. So now the question is-

How can couples prepare for a "transition" before it actually begins?

Primarily, learn what causes you to "lag." Knowing whether changes are easier or harder for you depends on who you are. if you know it will be difficult for you, You need to deliberately act and think in ways that will make a forthcoming transition less uncomfortable and a little more manageable for you.

A "jet lag" interval should be planned into your routine. Use calendars or alarms to remind yourself about the upcoming transition and allow yourself some time to prepare and strategize for the following phase so that you are ready for it when it occurs. For example - Don't let the first thing you do on your own be something monotonous or repetitive if you find it difficult to break away from your companion. Instead, engage yourself in something comforting and enjoyable or something that will stimulate your intellect.

The shift will get easier with time if you have something to look forward to on the other side. Understand that experiencing "jet lag,", especially in long-distance relationships, is normal. Be kind to yourself and understand that taking longer to get back into your routine does not indicate that you are needy or codependent. Alternatively, just because it's taking you some time to get used to being with your partner again doesn't mean your love is dead. It's just a part of the process.

For the whole research refer - Weber, D. M., Baucom, D. H., Wojda-Burlij, A. K., Carrino, E. A., Du Bois, S., & Sher, T. G. (2022). Relationship “jet lag” in long-distance and geographically close relationships: The impact of relationship transitions on emotional functioning. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice. Advance online publication.