Self-Criticism And Its Toxic Impact In Your Life | Reevin

We are most often the worst critics of ourselves. I'm sure some healthy amount of criticism might be beneficial, but we have the capability to be ruthless with ourselves, even for the minutest of our mistakes.

But what we fail to realize is that we are mere humans, and we are bound to make mistakes, and it's wonderful till we learn from them.

Sadly, we have normalized being overly critical of ourselves to a point where it's detrimental to our sanity and sense of well-being.

I took my own sweet time learning this one valuable lesson. I was in therapy for depression and anxiety. There was no prominent improvement in my condition, and in one of the many sessions I so vividly recall, I was going on and on about how it was all my fault that I was suffering. There was no improvement, and how I hated myself, my therapist just told me, "Pragati, all I'm asking from you is not to criticize yourself." I can never forget these words and hold on to them to this very day, and I would like to pass them on to anyone reading this; please don't criticize yourself for whatever you are feeling, and I will tell you why.

1. likely, you are already going through something, and being critical of yourself for it will only make it 10 times worse. It's like you are fighting two battles inside your head, and you will very soon be exhausted from the turmoil.

2. It is easier to focus on the problem and cope better when you accept the problem instead of criticizing yourself for having the problem in the first place.

3. You definitely, and I cannot emphasize this enough, accelerate healing when you accept your feelings and treat yourself with kindness.

4. It is important to understand that this critical behavior is rooted in some fear, and you should try to look within and find that out.

5. Lastly, if none of the above-mentioned reasons were good enough for you, let me tell you something surprising, nobody, not a single soul cares about your 'alleged flaws' as much as you do. If anyone does notice them, they are more than likely not to remember that after some time.

Whatever you are going through in your life is absolutely valid, and it's okay for you not to feel okay; you are just a human being, and you don't have to be perfect all the time. Your imperfections are what make you who you are in the world; they make you human. So embrace them and if you feel the need to, work on them while being kind to yourself.

I also know that it's easier said than done; it's not easy to unlearn behaviors. It will take time and patience from you, but it will be worth it, I promise.

Here is how you can get started:

1. Make a conscious choice not to criticize yourself.

2. Try talking to yourself like you would talk to a child in distress.

3. Consciously decide not to compare yourself with others.

4. Be kind and gentle to yourself.

5. Forgive yourself in situations when you are generally critical of yourself.

All of this will require conscious effort and patience, but it will be worth it, and you will have achieved the first step of your healing journey. I hope this was helpful.