Thanks for sharing your experience here with us!
At times, it does get difficult to move on from situation. It's a process and definitely not an overnight thing. Perhaps, it should be renamed and called "moving through" instead of "moving on". 
Things do seem confusing and had I been at your place, probably I would have experienced the same. 

It's difficult to control one's feelings, but what we can try to do is:

1. Hold space for it, accept it

2. Gradually learn to manage the emotions better 

As far as the breakup is concerned, probably asking oneself:

• "Why did it happen?"
• "What will happen if we reconcile?"
• "Will I be okay, if at all, the same dynamics repeat in the relationship?"
• "Am I and the person I was with ready to put in efforts and can change the harmful behavioral patterns, if any?"
• "What is the reason of this confusion that I might face?" "How does it make me feel?" and "How can it impact any romantic relationship I may be in?"

I hope these will be able to take you forward and find answers for your problem. Know that help is always available and you can reach out!
Wishing you lots of strength, courage and luck with this process! May you get through this and work towards your goals! Take care!