Written by Nandini Agrawal | Reviewed By John Victor | Updated On October 8, 2022
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“How lucky she is and here is me! I have got nothing :(”,” how mature he is, he knows how to do everything, I am of no means, everything is out of my league!!” if any such thoughts visit your head regularly then this article has got something really serious to discuss today. You! my friend, have been a victim of low self-esteem.
“oh! What a joke. I am just saying what I see, that what is truth. It's nothing to do with my self-esteem, I know where I stand, it's just a reflection of my conscious self-awareness." you might wonder.
Then Yea! Exactly! you say what you see but what about underlying subconsciousness? Everyone is watching others, we all socialize, meet new people daily, mark each other's impressions, listen to how life doing good or bad to someone and everyone, note where we stand in our life based on how life is doing with others, but the difference lies in how you compare and what others associate and appreciate.
We happen to project our conscious fears and strength on others by comparing them to their strengths.
Self-esteem is one’s own opinion and concern about self. It's worth you place yourself at! It is about how you watch up to yourself, how you know your strengths and weakness, yet embrace them. Stable self-esteem allows you to alter your vulnerabilities into your powers. Healthy self-esteem also empowers you to adhere to your values and set a rigid boundary guarding your self-respect and comfort zone.
Certainly, self-comparison appears out to be an alarming manifestation of low self-esteem and interestingly we don’t even compare fairly, we only compare our agonies with other’s happiness, our vulnerabilities to other's strengths, and skip to do vice versa, consequently loosen our grips on reality. You never know how much one might be suffering, everyone has his own story so do they, appearing out to be successful can't talk how shallow their life may be.
No matter if you do upward comparisons (comparing to someone you consider to be superior or better than you) or downward comparisons (comparing to someone you consider to be inferior or poor than you) but evaluating own self in any domain of life against anybody strain your perceptions and behavior and deform your abilities and skills by challenging your self-esteem.
So,
1. Recognize the reality
2. Stop making others your mirror And judging own self.
3. Find opportunities in differences by looking at where you might be missing out, what is not letting you proceed further.
4. Acknowledge your strengths and weakness.
5. Ensure a common ground
Know That these comparisons will later or soon end up leaving you to feel vulnerable, self-doubting, and a sense of being trash. You never know the other side of the story so stop assuming and coming up with a self-made behind the success scene of others. Better invest this time in recognizing and polishing your strengths with acceptance for your flaws and work on them. Make sure you are having the judgment at a common ground, don't even try to compare their blessings with your imperfections.
Don’t overlook what you already have and cultivate compassion about own self by reminding yourself of your accomplishments and creations in life.
And if still, the comparative thoughts pop up in your mind, ask yourself:-
a. Do I know the inner content of his/her life?
b. Do we have the same life experiences throughout?
c. Am I being fair enough and comparing every domain of our lives?
d. How this comparison made me feel about myself? Stay honest!
You are unique, your story is unusual!
Don't compare and gloom
Just Learn, grow and bloom
