Phrases like  ‘my one and only’,  My soulmate, the love of my life sounds familiar right? What do they actually mean for us? Are they even true? To what extent? Let’s ponder over it ……

From the time we saw the first romantic movie or read a romantic novel, the desire of landing into the ’ perfect fairytale’  was pretty normal for all of us. All the girls have been Cindrella once and have lived in the hope of crossing paths with prince charming, one eventual day. For men, they too have longed for their respective Cinderellas, if not for the initial trials, definitely for a lifetime.

And as life does fulfill some dreams, one fateful day you do find the one and only and do fall in love unconsciously and deeply and suddenly you seemed to be completely enticed by the world you have been living ignorantly in. The meadows are greener than ever, the feeling of romance seem magical, heavenly even the experience of the smooth wave of wind gliding through your face appears heavenly as giving a loving peck onto your cheeks, the ever sunset making the sky appear as a heavenly view, every person in the view seems to be an angel and more of such fancy romanticism comes to life. Life no more remains a  mere word, it rather becomes an ‘Experience’. And then comes the next level, necessitating commitments of a  lifetime. The  ‘ Happily ever after story ‘ begins, in the expectation of mirroring the much-idealized concept propounded by the movies that we have grown up watching or by the romantic novels one got hooked onto during the precarious period of adolescence. A grand dreamy wedding follows, which would be worth cherishing for the rest of the life. Celebratory music, romantic dances, family gatherings, and open acknowledgment of love in front of the world.

Magical indeed, but for how long?  After the honeymoon period comes the reality of life and relationships. But most stories in books and movies, end here. Is it really ‘ THE END’?

Not so soon, a quote befits the situation here,  “Picture Abhi Baaki hai mere dost “.

The story in real life begins from here.

What is next? Most of us are astounded by this question.

No book or movie can steer your way ahead leaving most of us befuddled as to what is the way ahead in the relationship. For those believing having kids and beginning a family with the aim of spending the rest of their lives giving their energies to nurture and dedicate only to the process are sadly ignorant of the fact that this can lead their ever fantasized, craved for, the desired relationship to either pause or end at the ‘Happily ever after’ juncture of life. Unrealizing of the fact that having more members in the family, increased responsibilities, emotional attachments, growing maturity makes us pay little attention to the once craved for companionship.

But just because priorities change does the need and greed of romantic love end? Do the longing for intimacy, romantic craving, Sexual desires end?

Sadly, the answer is a resounding  ‘No’. What began as a hormonal flux during adolescence or the period of puberty, and later on,  graduated and matured to the notion of ‘pure love’ continues. Since, biology doesn’t work according to our well-crafted plans and our pre-mediated futuristic goals in life such as family planning,  a bigger house, a bigger car, a higher designation, a tour across the globe, and so on and instead of the biology of emotions and hormones leading to the desire of proximity and natural cravings of physical and sexual intimacy go on. If the current relationship is ignorant and inconsiderate to the partner’s needs, mind deviates,  putting alternative options on the table , either injurious to health like drug consumption habits or illegitimate paths leading to infidelity which ends up distorting the mind and emotions of the person involved and leading further consequences to the once blissful marital relationship. These concepts are the reality of contemporary times.

The monumentally high hopes and lofty commitments dash out at an instance. The happily ever world suddenly seems misplaced and shattered. One’s idea of ‘true love’  comes to suspicion.

Does it mean it is the end then? How can it be so? How could it happen? It was supposed to be perfect! Now what?

The good news is that it’s not the end. Just like happily ever after wasn’t the end either.

The story can be recreated. This can be taken up as a  ‘makeup ‘ call. An opportunity to ponder over the missing elements in the relationship. To look for the deficiencies and taking a reflective approach.

How can the torn portions be stitched?

For all this and more, one first need, to begin with, ‘re visiting’ their notion of love and strive for perfection in a relationship. The realization of the fact that cracks will appear eventually in any or every relationship over a period of time and that there is no perfect love story but the possibilities of many successful love stories. The simple difference between a ‘ perfect marriage ‘ and a ‘successful marriage’ lies in ‘ACCEPTING’ the cracks as a natural, fixable outcome because while perfection limits the scope for progress and improvement, accepting the flaws can be a beautiful opportunity to work on them and resultantly create a much stronger, healthier, and intimate relationship which is valued and relished by both the partners.

This is the point where the false chase for perfection ends for the reality to be given a newly formed upgraded perspective.

Once, both the partners bring their best foot forward to correct their respective deficiencies and collaborate as partners to suit each other’s needs.

Thus, ‘  HAPPILY EVER AFTER ’ would no longer be a goal which ends after a commitment but be a continuous effort of accepting the constant breaking and re makings within a relationship resulting in a steady enrichment and strengthening of the relationship with every passing day.