Reevin - How to Benefit from Green Flags in a Relationship?

If your best friend did not dislike the person you like, is that even normal? Well, most of the time, their gut feelings are correct, sheer coincidence, please! Their radars are quick to identify all the red flags and bring us back to sanity. But does it not strike you what the markers of a healthy relationship are? If a red flag can save us from an abusive relationship, then, sure enough, a green flag can help us bloom most beautifully.

So here is a list of flags to help you identify signs of a relationship that’s on a trajectory you can feel good about:

Comfortable silences

Tell me about it! One part of this implies your endless conversations that, ‘Voila! Its past 3 a.m.’ Awkwardness does not exist through words or silence. You don’t have to come up with a list to keep the conversation going; it naturally flows; unless you lose track and miss the important points- keeping a list is not a bad idea.

Trust

You spill the tea like you let the cat out of the bag. There, there, no use of crying over the spoilt milk. No shame, no guilt, no regret; you pour your heart out.

Is it not beautiful? To trust someone that the thought of them “vague-booking” you is laughable. There is no “please don’t tell this to anyone,” maybe “you can’t laugh, okay!”

They know YOU

After all the embarrassing childhood stories that you shared, of course, they know you! But their understanding and knowledge about you do not end here. They know exactly what evil plan you are cooking up, taking the role of being a mother and scolding poor you. That’s why you even have your own ‘inside’ jokes.

Sharing is indeed caring.

Good news? Could you share it? Good food? Could you share it? Good meme? Could you share it?

The person stays on the top of every social media app. You want your partner to be the first person to know- good or bad. They become a part of your journey and live every bit of it as much as you do.

The Golden Words

Appreciating and apologizing is probably the greenest signal of all and for any healthy relationship.

Nothing ruins a relationship like the blame game and keeping the score. If your partner realizes their mistake and can be accountable, you have a keeper.

Celebrating all the things that make you is what you deserve- without conditions or contingencies.

Working as a team

A relationship is a team of two- small and sweet. You don’t become dependent on being a cohesive unit or refuse to work as a team not to lose your individuality. You fill in for each other’s weaknesses and don’t compete with one another either.

Little things

“You remember that!” you said, with the smile so bright and eyes that can hardly be seen.

Compliments, genuine interest in your interests, asking you about your day, and remembering that small yet so dear detail that even you had forgotten. Little things hold a lot of significance and space in our hearts and memory. Receiving undivided attention from your partner is also a form of appreciation.

Discussions over disagreements

The ability to disagree with your partner without feeling misunderstood and fear of fuelling an argument not only keeps the conversation healthy but also helps you to become a self-aware individual. Be it be a sensational debate over ‘Chai or Coffee?’ or the difference in ideologies- they do it with respect and clarity. Don’t be afraid of intense conversations.

Growing together

If you like the version you are becoming, here, take a green flag.

Your partner encourages you to learn, grow, bloom without changing your foundation. They allow you to move at your own pace. They do not idealize you but believe in you. Even when you are exhausted, they stay, cheering for you on towards the finishing line. That’s your #1 fan.

Physical Intimacy

Their touch does not invoke any negative sensations such as uncomfortableness, guilt, awkwardness, or anger. It rather brings a sense of belongingness, and you feel protected and safe.

If you set boundaries, they respect them. They don’t push you if you are not ready, and it never seems inappropriate.

After going through the short-list, a moment of truth- there is no perfect relationship. You don’t have to check off all the things on your list. A little bit of warmth to curl up to. A lot of light to help you grow. A safe place to call home. Enough water, love, laughter, and comfort.

Look for things you love, the things that might not be ‘ideal’ but fit just right.