Written by Chetna Arora |
Listen to this article in Audio
I think most of you will be aware of the hashtag #notallmen. Well, those who don't know, basically it is an expression used as a rebuttal to generalized statements made by women or men often use it as 'Excuse me not all men are like that, stop generalizing.'
Here's the truth, ALL MEN ARE SOCIALIZED UNDER PATRIARCHY AND ARE BENEFITTED FROM PATRIARCHY.
Example: If a woman is out at night and spots a man behind her who has no bad intention and actually has the same route, she will still feel unsafe. It's because she has faced or heard or has been a victim of harassment. Before you come and say it's generalizing, it's actually not because it is true that all men do get benefited from Patriarchy.
When a woman shows resentment or shares a bad experience, it is absolutely not okay for men to come and save themselves first by saying "but not all men are the same" or counter it with "all women are this and that." WHY?
Because it doesn't add up to the discussion, it derails, dismisses, and invalidates the experiences and emotions of women. When they say not all men are like this, they mean"I am not like that," which signifies how uncomfortable it makes them when discussing misogyny.
See, we know not all men are abusers, not all men are rapists- but in more ways than one, ALL MEN have and currently participate in the oppression of women. Let's take another example; you and your friends are making Misogynistic jokes; do you stop them or call your friends out right then and there? Do you engage in "locker room talks" or make casual sexist judgments like "All women are bad drivers"? #YesAllMen - check yourself.
Questioning yourself here is important cause You subconsciously participate in it and don't even realize how wrong it is. Male entitlement is a choice- a choice to be uncritical, a choice to continue to benefit passively, and attempting to fight this entitlement is also a choice that should be conscious and ongoing.
When you say, not all men, you immediately become one of them. Cause you saying that doesn't negate patriarchy but definitely enforces it.
Many men don't do hurtful things maliciously, but they may do it subconsciously by adhering to how they have been taught to behave. In contrast, some men are intentionally violent, but the effects of both can be incredibly damaging. A man who makes you feel unsafe by accident is as harmful to you as one who does it on purpose.
SO, NOT ALL MEN MAY BE CULPRITS, BUT ALL WOMEN ARE VICTIMS.
WoMen-Men's World
Marginalization and the Impact on Self Development | ReevinWoMen-Men's World
The Real Impact of Long-Standing Subjugation of WomenWoMen-Men's World
Tough up or heal: Why men need to cry.WoMen-Men's World
Not All Men - Every Guy's Favourite Argument