Tough up or heal: Why men need to cry.

Often, I have heard teachers and parents saying to my male classmates not to cry so much...."Boys shouldn't cry like a girl" was the elders' explanation to all the queries followed... Thus my friends used to cover up their tears using their hands to prevent others from seeing them. I felt it as the biggest suffocation for them during that time.....

Our society characterizes men and women in certain ways.  There were many gender stereotypes in our society, such as characterizing men as stronger and women as the weaker sex. The encouragement of this culture has proved to be a bane for most of the individuals who wish for a change. Crying and expressing one’s feelings were seen as more feminine and weak. It has always been more socially acceptable for girls to cry, as gentle, warm, and weak attributes were used to describe females. But as many women continue to take powerful positions and prove their talents, now a change in those stereotypes can be seen in the world.

While it was okay for a woman to cry, it wasn’t okay for a man to cry. Men were seen as being weak or unmanly if they expressed themselves or cry. The terms such as ‘man up’ and ‘mamma’s boy’ are used to mock the men and boys to stop expressing their emotions. Many think men don’t have feelings and cannot express their emotions.

But in reality, it’s acting as a huge pressure on them, and it's high time we should normalize men expressing their emotions and being themselves. Like women, men need to express their emotions, and here are a few reasons why crying is important for an individual.

• Crying helps to relieve stress.

Everyone undergoes various stressful events in their entire life. Stress can either make or break a person. Sometimes we have the ability to cope with most stressful situations. Sometimes we may feel a situation is too much for us that we feel ourselves breaking down. Thus, crying can act as a stress reliever during such stressful situations and allow the release of emotions. It can help us feel lighter. Thus, crying can help a man to release his stress and feel free.

• It acts as a powerful tool for healing.

Sometimes we all may ignore or suppress our emotions just because we feel embarrassed to cry. Thus our emotions and feelings go unresolved and return in our thoughts, making us more discomfort. Ignoring and suppressing what we went through doesn’t result in healing, and rather it comes back to us with more intensity. Crying is powerful. It allows us to feel, release, heal, and move forward.

• It can act as a form of healthy ventilation instead of anger.

When faced with adversity, some of us get angry and show our frustration. But getting angry doesn’t solve anything. When we don’t cry, we feel less connected and more frustrated. It makes us stuck in the negativity of our situation without releasing ourselves from our emotions and anger.  Thus crying can act as a form of healthy venting for all the frustrations we feel during stressful situations.

• It helps the children understand that it’s okay to cry.

Children look up to their elders in the family, and fathers play an important role in shaping their sons’ behaviors. We must have noticed how boys imitate their fathers and girls-their mothers during childhood. Thus how the elders behave influences the behavioral patterns of children through the process of learning through observation. Sometimes men have to express their emotions in front of their families, and thus, it helps children understand that it’s okay to cry. It can increase the bonding within a family as it makes others aware that men too care about things and have feelings for them.

• It’s proof of how close they feel about a situation.

Many men put up a tough exterior to show that they are a man who fits perfectly to the societal norms. But a man can be strong and vulnerable simultaneously, and crying helps others be aware that he cares about a situation. Crying reflects caring about a situation or a person and can be a form of expressing love and care. It can increase the bonding with loved ones and allies.

• Men, too, have emotions.

Last but not least, men too have emotions. Sometimes, we have to remind some people around us that men are humans too. There are times when they cannot cope up well with situations and break down. If they want to relieve their stress by crying, let them do it without the fear of judgment.  Mocking and laughing at a person for expressing their emotions is an insult and not helpful towards them. Extending support and care during such situations can help them feel more confident in opening up and feel free, as sometimes all we need is to open up our feelings and someone to listen to us. 

And it's completely okay for everyone to cry and express their emotions... :)