Why are Women expected to be ‘Modest’ and ‘Chaste’?

While epics from Indian mythology often have strong-willed female authorities, they also have a common underlying theme. In Ramayana, Lord Rama has asked Goddess Sita to endure an ‘agnipariksha’ or a trial involving fire to prove her status as an ‘honorable’ woman after being held captive for 14 years by the demon king Ravana. There are several other tales about characters such as Kunti and Draupadi in Mahabharata, or even Ahalya- women who are revered for their chastity or punished for their sexuality. 

Here’s a quick checklist in case you're wondering if these notions were only a thing of the past, which you can fill if you identify as a woman:

• Been asked to wear clothes that cover the shape of the body and having judged those who wear what suits them
• Shamed for staying outdoors till late at night
• Having had multiple sexual partners
• Condescending looks upon purchasing birth control
• Expressing your needs to a sexual partner comes with judgment
• Cuss words you commonly hear describe acts of outraging the ‘modesty of a woman

The Roots

Renowned psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud had coined a term for a very commonly observable thought pattern in society: the Madonna-whore complex. It refers to a style of thinking that puts women into two boxes- the first being a chaste, respectable woman who is perceived to have a strong moral compass, and the other a promiscuous, immoral, and degraded woman. 

Unfortunately, these broad categorizations are so well ingrained in our minds that we have only come to create subtypes of these labels with time rather than eradicating the labels themselves. Rape culture largely borrows from such notions and denies women basic human dignity and personhood based on their perceived sexual identity or even seemingly unrelated choices such as their attire.

Consequently, as women, our life choices are tailor-made to live up to the standard of an ‘ideal’ woman worthy of respect, which is guaranteed unconditionally for men.

 A few consequences of holding such a polarised idea

• The notion is based on a narrative built from the male perspective. Women are reduced to one-dimensional labels based on their bodies, sexual desirability, or chastity, rather than recognizing them as multidimensional, complex beings.

• Sexuality in women is inherently viewed as something downgrading. Hence, people identifying as women significantly curtail this part of their identity, even shunning those attempting to break free from the label. As it happens with any form of identity repression, this can impact their self-esteem, confidence, and even self-growth.

• These labels go on to affect not only women but also men in intimate relationships. Heterosexual men may only be able to love and respect a woman they categorize as ‘Madonna,’ which may also imply that they will be more likely to dismiss her sexual needs.

• Another likely consequence is being unable to respect a woman who has a well-formed sexual identity. This becomes especially important when we relate it to the concept of stereotypes. Certain groups of women, such as transwomen, have been hypersexualized historically. Such ideas only have a self-perpetuating effect on more bad ideas- such as justifying crimes, especially sexual offenses against the community. 

Madonna-Whore complex is a logical fallacy that sees women as either god-like or prostitutes, loving the first and desiring the second — though never intertwining them both and recognizing the fluidity in sensuality. Breaking free from this may be the first step towards humanizing women, hopefully treating them as equals in the future.